 "Photo:")
 "Photo:")
An addiction is hard to beat, especially when it goes on for more than 40 years. I'm talking about smoking. I quit 10 years ago after more than a hundred attempts but in March of 1998, which was my third successful try out of all of the failures.
This was the hardest thing that I have ever done and because it was so hard to quit, I used to tell my friends, "anyone can quit smoking, but it takes a man to face cancer."
The first time I quit was for four months and the second time was for four years with as much as three or four years in between each attempt.
Both of those times, I went cold turkey, but this last time I needed help from a doctor with a prescription for Zyban.
This is a mild drug used for treating depression, and it makes you lazy and you procrastinate a lot, but it helps you kick the habit.
I learned a few things through the experience and that is that I didn't remember what it was like before I started smoking, but after the first and second time, it was a lot easier once I got past the withdrawal stage.
You might ask what made me want to quit.
Cigarettes can be real hard on your throat, and sometimes, they really smell terrible, and I felt like I was in some sort of prison.
I used to work for the railroad, and I had to ride the train a lot. I had a run from San Antonio to Taylor or Laredo, and I would always take at least four or five packs with me because I was afraid of running out along the way. After all, you can't just park a mile-long train any place.
It has been 10 years now, and I still have dreams about smoking.
Don't get me wrong; I don't dream about it every night.
It happens once or twice in three or four months, but when it does happen, it's very traumatic.
It's almost as if my mind thinks that I have really cheated, and I'm smoking on the sly, and when I first wake up, I can still remember smoking and it leaves me a guilty feeling.
It was so hard to get to the point where I could quit and I feel like I have betrayed myself in my sleep. To me, it is a sacred oath that I have broken.
I guess the worst thing about quitting is the gaining weight.
At my age, it's really hard to lose those extra pounds, not to mention buying a new wardrobe.
The one thing that I can say about the experience is that tomorrow does come and you will live through the experience as long as you don't cheat and reward yourself with a cigarette.
The time will come when it is not a painful urge to light one up.
All in all, you will be a better person full of confidence because you have beaten one of the worst addictions ever.
D.A. James is a former Ranger photo editor and is a photography junior at Texas State University-San Marcos.
Be the first to comment on this article!