2008 Woodie Awards
Romance Report
Dating losers
By Sonya Harvey
Issue date: 10/5/07 Section: Features
Originally published: 10/4/07 at 3:03 PM CSTLast update: 10/4/07 at 7:42 PM CST
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Studies show that most people will try to justify these signs, excusing them so they don't interfere with a fantasy of having met the perfect match.
Unfortunately, such signs are usually all too prophetic and are the essence of what Gary Aumiller and Daniel Goldfarb call "red flags," in their book "Red Flags: How to Know When You're Dating a Loser."
The question then becomes how to detect and respond to a red flag before it's too late.
If a person's friends constantly say a certain someone seems to be on a loser-streak, than they just might be right.
If someone's mother is screening dates for them, then maybe they're beyond receiving advice column help and need to seek professional help.
If a friend is nice, smart, reasonably attractive, has a good sense of humor, is drug-free and to some extent employed, then they should be able to weed out the losers.
Maybe they're not looking past the first impression (which can be deceiving), maybe they're not looking in the right places or maybe they just need to raise their standards.
If any of this sounds familiar, read on.
Aumiller and Goldfarb have seen firsthand how the "losers" people date or even marry can lead someone astray, and their aim is to help people spot dead-end relationships before they get into them too deeply.
They have come up with 25 categories of "losers" from the abuser to the player.
If someone always says they're going to go out and start looking for a job tomorrow, then they might be a loser.
If all dates involve the dollar menu at a local fast-food chain and he/she pays with coins, then they might be a skimper.
If someone is always checking out the opposite sex or prefers reading dirty magazines to having a conversation, then they might be a player.
If late nights are always spent in emergency rooms or intensive care, then they might be an abuser. Run away. Run very fast. Don't look back.
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